You might think veganism is a joke, but that all changed the day Vegans launched the greatest war in human history. It brought meat eaters to their knees as the vegan friendly and organically sourced nukes fell on the world.
Billy was shoved face first into the dirt. As a vegan soldier pushed an AK-47 to his temple. Billy's hands squeezed the dirt as he fought back tears. He had been caught with contraband. The worst of all it's kind. Hand made Teriyaki Jerkey. The vegan soldier screamed in his face in angry Russian. Billy screamed back "It's not mine, it's...it's...a friends! I swear. Please don't shoot!"
The vegan soldier scoffed. He looked over at his comrade, before executing Billy on the spot. If Judge Dredd ever became a Vegan, he would be proud of that merciless execution. Billys lifeless body hit the ground along with the sweet delicious teriyaki that was now known as a forbidden substance under the Vegan act of 20-X-45X6
On the 2nd of February 2054. Is when the Vegans decided they had enough. They launched the nukes into the sky, and it soon became known as the V-Day. The first Vegan strike. As everyone looked to the sky, nukes detonated. Millions of people were wiped out in a second. The absolute terror rocked this world like no other. Millions of meat producing farms were hit with tree decorated scud missiles. CEO's of all major meat distributers were executed in drive bys, bomb detonations and more. One CEO, the owner of the dairy industry bit into a cheese and salami sandwhich and it exploded instantly.
No one saw it coming. The Vegans had been silent for a few years now but no one could have prepared for this day. After the smoke had cleared, millions of soldiers raided every major military post in the world. The vegans used mushroom scented tear gas. Bullets made by compressing the ashes of other vegans into high dense carbon-alloy. Every time a person was killed and hit the ground, the Vegans made sure it was an organic death with no animal products used in the killing.
You are probably wondering how I know all this? well you see, I am actually from the future. I decided to travel back in time and start writing articles on the situation that is coming. I was only 13 years old when I watched my Grandpa have his back snapped on the knee of a giant metal Veg-Mech. They were horrible things. They were powered by organic renewable vegetable oil and so when you smelled cooked chips in the air, you knew you were about to die.
My grandpa was an innocent man. I was in tears as the Veg-Mechs stormed our small little farm. He was just a normal farmer like any other. My grandpa was a kind and gentle soul. He begged for them to keep me alive in exchange for his life. I'll never forget the sound of his spine snapping on the organically sourced metal frame of the Mech.
The Vegan commander strolled over to me and looked me in the eye. He said listen boy. This is the end of meat eaters, if you eat meat. We will kill you. This is the vegan revolution. Killing animals is murder you see? but killing people that eat animals is completely fine and not at all hypocritical. Hmm I pondered on that for many years.
I was sent to work as a slave in the agriculture camps. Now that meat was outlawed, we needed to produce 100x the amount of vegetables and fruit. This meant the destruction of many areas. We demolished entire cities just so the vegans could sustain themself with huge amounts of vegetables to meet their protein daily limit.
Life has never been the same. War is constant. Meat has now become just like any other drug. It is produced in secret in the black market. The animals are ironically now treated even worse than they were before because it's all done secrectly. Vegans tried to make a better place for animals, but by completely outlawing it, now animals are being smuggled in inhumane conditions with hidden black crates in trucks through 40c weather. All of this has made the treatment of animals and how they are slaughtered even more cruel then it was before.
The war rages on. As meat now becomes the driving force that pays for criminal gangs, it has made meat-dealing to be the most profitable business of all time. It is even more valuable than the hardest drugs out there. The vegans have caused an all out shit storm.
Every day smugglers are caught and executed, even though Vegans now rule the world. They can't keep on top of the black market trade that emerged. Steaks and mince is caught regularly on the border. Every time someone is caught they are killed immediately. The war just never ends. No end in sight to the blood and murder.
The question we must ask.... did banning meat create a better world? or did it create an even worse one by allowing black market traders to now profit off an illegal substance and make the animals get treated even worse in black market conditions?