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Aruns 18th

7:00pm – Arun picks me up, we go buy drinks & chips
7:05pm – We arrive at Aruns house and wait for Arun to eat dinner
7:30pm – Arun places his $60 scotch in front of Joshs car
7:32pm – Josh runs over the $60 of scotch Arun put in front of the car
7:33pm – I laugh while they are pissed
7:40pm – We pick up Alex, James & Matt
7:50pm – We look at the dent in Matts car where he hit a Kangaroo
8:00pm – We arrive at my house
8:30pm – They whine theres no ice and go get some taking 15mins
9:00pm – We begin poker, I lose badly, Matt wins most our money..
10:00pm – Josh & Alex leave cause there sooks
10:30pm – more drinking and trashing my house, James leaves
11:00pm – We decide to walk to middleton beach!
11:30pm – We part with Matt who walks home
12:00pm – We begin our adventure, it seemed like a good idea at the time
1:00am – We stop at the 24hour shop, I lean on the glass looking at sandwhichs, the person there tells me off for leaning on the glass.
1:05am – I inform Arun the 24 hour shop guy is a dick
3:30am – We arrive at the beach, I throw up beside the bin
4:00am – We sleep on the beach
5:00am – We wake up freezing cold…and start walking back…i feel sick
5:30am – We decide it would be a good idea to bury my 1/4 bottle of cougar i have left
6:15am – We arrive at Mcdonalds, Arun looks perfectly fine and eats heaps..
6:40am – We leave Mcdonalds to walk back to my house
8:00am – We make it home alive

Leave a comment Posted in Drunken Stories by Eggy on

Whole Cake? No Mam 99.9999% Cake

A lady comes through with some shopping and a cake, I dunno if it was from me packing or the cake was already like this, but she notices a tiny fracture has come off…

She wants a new cake, She saids “It looks different”

IT LOOKS DIFFERENT?!LOOKS DIFFERENT?!!! A tiny bit, like the size of your little pinky nail is off and she wants a new one…..right….just…yeahhhh…

So I say…

“It’s only a tiny little bit off, it should be ok”

She then gives me a glare that would look something like what hitler would look at you like just before he killed you.

So after a little awkward silence I call up and get her a new cake.

Just…..Sigh.

Leave a comment Posted in Uncategorized by Eggy on

Olden Day Money

Today a lady handed me 1c and 2c coins to pay for her shopping….

Lady : Here you go
Me : Errr you can’t pay with these…
Lady : Oh, I can’t?
Me : ………………………………………..
Lady : ……………………
Me: ……………..No
Lady : Oh ok.

She then hands me a $50 note

Sigh.

Leave a comment Posted in Old Work by Eggy on

Old Guy

When we were up on holiday in Darwin. This old guy comes into the parking lot to park, he drives forward and sees a trolley at the end of his parking spot, he didn’t need to move it, but he gets out of his car and moves it anyway.

Then he drives forward into the parking spot and keeps going and hits the car parked in front….uh oh you moronic old guy.

He gets out, looks at his car pushing into the car in front and he then just walks off, he doesn’t even bother to move his car backwards to stop his car denting into the other one……My god.

F-A-C-E-P-A-L-M!

Leave a comment Posted in Rants by Eggy on