News Archive

Straight or Curly

Some guy comes up to me and asks where is the pasta, so I show him

Me : Here you go
Guy : Ahh thanks, umm, hmm i’ve never had pasta before, My wife is making me come get some.

This guy is like 30ish…….how could you not have had pasta by 30?!??!?

Me : Umm geez
Guy : Which tastes better the curly or the straight
Me : ………yeah im pretty sure they taste the same
Guy : but they look different
Me : well…yeah …

He sits there in thought as i slowly get away….I was not going to sit there and debate that something will taste the same even if its different shapes….jesus fucken christ.

Permalink Posted in Old Work by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Sarcasm

So lately I’ve been more of a….well….not nice worker to my customers when they annoy me. I used to roll over, smile and say sorry. Now I’m getting in more trouble because I’m standing up to them, I might even get fired at this rate :O we’ll see I guess.

I’m packing the lady’s shopping, and I drop the next piece of shopping in (Tomatoes) about half the length of your hand. Not very much of a drop, very very tiny.

Lady : DO BE MORE CAREFUL PUTTING MY SHOPPING IN, STOP THROWING MY THINGS INTO THE BAG.
Me : Ok.

I grab the next thing and put it into the bag VERY slowly, you can tell I’m being sarcastic about it.

Lady : Do you want me to call your superviser?
Me : Honestly, not really.

I finish her shopping, she goes straight to manager, makes a complaint, i get another warning, and life goes on.

Permalink Posted in Old Work by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Prices affect Hunger

This conversation went between my 2 customers -

Lady 1 : Could you go get a whole chicken
Lady 2 : But you said that you were sick of eating chicken….
Lady 1 : Yes but look there on special, so now I want to eat one
Lady 2 : Oh ok

Prices affect how hungry you are for a certain food? Wow, guess I learn something every day huh.

Permalink Posted in Old Work by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Things NOT to do

Because, I am so ever kind and gracious. I am going too write a list of things NOT to do when coming through checkout. These situations happen every day, and I want to scream. Maybe you’ll learn something.

(1) If I’m just standing there with no customer, when you come over with your shopping don’t say “Hey you look like you need something to do” IT’S NOT AMUSING, NEITHER IS YOUR GAY LAUGH

(2) Don’t give me your green bags to pack in after I’ve already done half your fucking shopping.

(3) If your going to criticize someone, Say it properly. Don’t say “Hehe, Bradley how long have you been packing for” with a sweet smile on your face. That makes it so I cannot make a comment back to you, but lets you abuse me. Go back to your fucking feminist help group where every time you say something bad about each other you throw flowers into the air.

(4) When I ask how much money you would like out, don’t reply with yes

(5) You are NOT kind and considerate to the environment for using green bags, if your buying lots of plastic products.

(6) I DON’T CARE why your buying something, I don’t care about you.

(7) Don’t repack every single bag I put up on the counter while making TSK’ing noises. Just tell me you want to pack yourself or shut the fuck up.

(8) Don’t point out every single marked down product just as I scan it.

(9) Don’t act like your better then me.

(10) Don’t be an old person or mother. You’re just a pain in the ass.

(11) Don’t say I’m not being careful with your eggs then throwing them into your trolly

(12) Don’t whine about being in the supermarket for a whole 30mins, when I’m here for 7 hours!

(13) Smiling doesn’t give you an excuse to be an asshole

(14) Don’t put your finger up and tell me to wait because your talking on your mobile phone

(15) Don’t put things on the end of the table where I have to lean over to get them.

(16) Don’t use “have fun” and work in the same sentence

(17) Don’t leave my checkout all nice and happy then go make a complaint to the manager about me. Say it too my face, cowards.

(18) Don’t complain to me how you can’t believe the price of apples has gone up 1c, and they say “Hey?” No, I don’t agree with you. Though your welcome to my blank stare.

(19) Don’t ask if I’m worse at checkout cause I’m a boy not a girl.

(20) Don’t be yourself. Be a nice customer for once.

Permalink Posted in Old Work by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

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