So my internet was dying today due to random stupid reasons of crap, and then you know what you have to do when you’re down to your last options….thats right. Ring a fucking helpline. About as much fun as bobbing for cyanide tablets.
Now even when you get a person that can speak ENGLISH they’re still a pain in the ass and take forever, it’s like service dumbed down for apes on heroin. You say straight out, ok look I’ve checked the wires and the lights are all on thats not the problem so lets move on. What do they say? No sir we must check everything properly. Now first. Is the power light on the modem green?
YES ITS FUCKING GREEN, I KNOW HOW TO CHECK IF THE POWERS ON!!
So you go through that boring shit and thats bad enough till they fix the problem by just resetting your fucking internet which is what they should have done in the first place.
But then, thats a good phone call. Then you get the people that have such a heavy accent that you wanna scream. You have to ask them to repeat everything 10 times. I’m not racist about this. Seriously, it has nothing to do with there race, it has to do with there voice. If you get a plain ol white english person and I can’t understand him either. I would be wishing his vocal chords into the fires of hell just like the rest of them.
Best option as people say? Just hang up on them as soon as you hear if they’re asian or indian, but then you have to ring up again, and again. It’s like playing lucky dip with telstra.
Oh you gots a number 3 out of the barrel? Ren U Gets RASIAN RACENT lololol
Fuck you helplines.
So it’s near easter and this lady puts a fair bit of shopping up.
Woman : Do you have any wrapping paper?
Me : Yeah just there at the service desk
First i’ll explain, i’m on the checkout RIGHT next to the service desk, like literally 1 metre away.
Woman : Could you get someone to get it for me please
Me : Ahh its right there, you could just quickly reach—
Woman : NO I SAID FOR YOU TO GET SOMEONE! NOW RING SOMEONE UP ON THAT PHONE
Me : Sure..
I’m just dumbstruck, it’s 1 metre away YOU LAZY BITCH! seriously what the fuck is wrong with you. You can cart your lazy fat ass through the shops to get your shopping…but not reach 1 metre??! are you fucking serious.
So yes I call someone up to get it….the person who gets the wrapping paper gives me a strange look like im the idiot…yeah well fuck you too.
And after we finally pay for it everything she saids
Woman : Goodbye
Me : …
Woman : I SAID GOODBYE
Me : OK
Woman : WELL
Me : Yes, Goodbye *turn around*
she gives me a dirty look…..seriously….I hate you people!
This happened to the “guy” next to me while we were presentating shelfs.
Woman : Excuse me, do you know if these tampons are any good?
Work Guy : Errrrrrrrrr……………I honestly woudn’t know……..
Woman : Oh ok then.
I looked at him and burst out laughing.
One lady through my checkout had a total of about 5 things. Something scans at 77c. Instantly she is outraged and demands that the price was 76c. I stare blankly at her for a second thinking she must be joking. She didn’t take kindly to my look. It must have have clearly shown…..What the fuck is wrong with you.
Me : Oh…ahh…are you sure?
Woman : Of course i’m bloody sure, IT WAS 76c!
Me : Ok….i’ll get someone to check it.
Now who the fuck winges about 1c, she had 3 of the item, so granted…it was….an extra 3c, rounded up to 5c. I would have thrown her 10c and said “Keep the change” if I wasn’t scared she’d probably dob me into the manager.
So the grocery assistant comes back and…indeed she was right, so i change the amount, all the time not saying much and she looks at me and saids “WELL I HAVE 2 KIDS TO FEED, EVERY CENT COUNTS”
Yeah, luckily she checked the price or they woulda’ starved for a week.