News Archive

Coke got fizzed up

This guy comes through and buys one small coke. Pays for it. Walks one metre out the checkout and drops it, it fizzes up. He turns around walks back to me and saids -

Man : My coke got Fizzed up, can I have another one.
Me : Umm………
Man : …..
Me : Swap it for one off the shelf just there then..
Man : …….ok

I could have said no, but I couldn’t be bothered…

Please people. Try not to drop your coke straight after you buy it……

Category: Old Work Posted by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Am I There?

I was standing in line at work today waiting to pay for some things, and this old guy walks into my back, and keeps walking forward….his head is pushed against my back and hes still trying to walk forward……I turn around and look at him like….what the hell? I look at my friend who also has a what the hell expression, so I take a step forward and then he keeps walking and hits my back again. I turn around and look at him and say

Me : uhh what the?
Old Guy : Are you standing or line or what, move out the way?
Me : uhhh yes i am…
Old Guy : …..

He then moves to the other checkout….He wasn’t blind or anything…

WHAT THE HELL???

Category: Old Work Posted by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Unexpected Slap

This happened to the guy next to me today…

He’s weighing the onions on the scales, more weight equals higher price. So he puts the onions on and has his fingers resting on the edge of the scales, then quickly she leans over -

*SLAPS HIS HAND* (Thats right, literally slapped it hard)

Lady : GET YOUR HAND OFF THE SCALES BOY, YOUR TRYING TO RAISE MY PRICE

Checkout Guy : …… *stunned face*

Now to raise the price with your fingers is very hard, you would have to purposly be trying because the scale needs to stay on the same weight for a few seconds and its very hard to keep your hand perfectly still. I felt like slapping her…

So still with her shopping, he drops a bag about knee height….

Lady : OH. MY. GOD, YOU BROKE MY BISCUITS!!
Checkout Guy : I’m sure there ok–
Lady : THEY MOST CERTANLY ARE NOT, I WANT A REPLACEMENT
Checkout Guy : ..uhh ok

At the worst the biscuits would have had some chips off them on the corners….

DEAR GOD THIS BISCUIT HAS A LITTLE CRUMB MISSING OFF THE SIDE THERE IS NO WAY I COULD EVER EAT THIS THAT WOULD BE INSANE AND CRAZY THIS STUPID FUCKING BISCUIT NOW I CANT ENJOY MY BISCUIT IM GOING TO YELL AND BLAME EVERYONE AND RING AND TELL THE PRESIDENT BECAUSE OH. MY .GOD ITTTSSS FUCCKINNNGGGGG MISSSSSING AAAA CRUMBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry bout that.

Category: Old Work Posted by Eggy on Sep 1, 2009

Sexism Isn't Over Yet

They seemed like a normal couple, The woman was overweight and a bit of a butch. I put there shopping through, scanned there items and the guy was closest to me.

Me : Cash or Card thanks? (looking at the guy)
Woman : EXCUSE ME?! WHY DID YOU LOOK AT HIM LIKE EXPECTING HIM TO PAY
Me : I…well…he’s right the—
Woman : So typical!! always expecting the man to pay!! woman can to you know!
Me : Oh…uhhh…yeah…Sorry, so, Cash or Card then?

She hands me a card and I swipe it and guess what,

IT WAS HIS FUCKING CREDIT CARD, NOT HERS!!!!!!

I look at it, then look at her. She just glares at me…..wow….just wow.

As they leave, the guy stays back a bit and when the woman is out of earshot he saids -

Man : Sorry about that, my wifes a bitch.
Me : HAHAHAHHAHAHHA

I hope that fat bitch chokes on some cheetoes or something.

P.S : Friends told me later I should have handed the card to her and read out his name. I’m pissed now I didn’t think of that, oh well if by a crazy chance it happens again I will.

Category: Old Work Posted by Eggy on Sep 1, 2007

First 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Last